Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
