bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My dick has a subreddit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
