So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
