I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
