it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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