I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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