Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
