Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
