If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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