He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
