You made me cry and you don't even care
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
