peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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