The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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