you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize