Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
