C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm too high and old for this...
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