It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need to stop coming to work sober
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
