Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
