i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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