how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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