as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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