his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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