I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
