its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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