I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
