Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
