doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
