i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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