I wanna bring you to show and tell
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
