It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility