shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
