Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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