Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
