New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
