so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
