I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
