non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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