whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
