Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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