smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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