He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
