New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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