Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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