I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
