we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
