Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
