guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
