She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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