i was born a porn star she said
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
