I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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