Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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