Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
