his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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