So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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