O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
