i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Randomize
