Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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