y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Everything about him screamed your future.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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