Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
