ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
