rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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