Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I color on your dick again?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
