it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
