I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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