oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
